Another Opening of Another Book

Yes, I am working on two projects concurrently. The following three short paragraphs are the opening for Mad Max 2.

Who would have thought Queen Elizabeth and I would have anything in common? I mean, we both survived totally sucky years. True, her annus horribilis involved the divorces of her two sons and public humiliation of the Royal family, plus a fire in Windsor Castle destroyed priceless artifacts. In my last twelve months, my only daughter suffered a severe brain injury. Then, she was murdered. Then, her husband Whip was arrested and charged with murder. I want not as eloquent as the Queen, I merely survived a shit-eating year.

I still woke up every morning missing the hell out of Merry. My poor murdered daughter. My extended family—one son-in-law and two grandchildren—and I pulled together to move forward without daughter, wife and mother.

Was it any wonder I fled to my apartment in New York City for a few days to heal? And to spend as much time as I could with my closest friends, the Great Dames.

Whaddya think, huh?

First Paragraph

I decided to blow the cyberdust off a manuscript I wrote a few years ago. Like many consultants, I was laid off after 9/11. I gave myself permission to write a book while I was looking for a job. I also gave myself six months to find a job. I did both in the allotted time.

I was afraid the manuscript would be so dreadful that the Delete key would be my friend. I printed the whole thing out and was shocked to see it ran 1200 pages, 335,000 words. Seems like it should be three books -- or whacked by two-thirds to make it marketable. It's the story of a group of women spanning 40 years. Nothing like Ya Ya Sisterhood.

So what do you think of the newly written opening paragraph?

For nearly as long as she could remember, Patricia had thought of herself as a "Patricia." Unfortunately, no one else did. Her friends called her either Trisha or Trish, be everyone in her family called her "Sissy." The second born and eldest girl, Patricia was "sister of," not an individual. She could just have easily been called maid or babysitter or house cleaner.

Any thoughts?

James River Writers Conference, Post #2

One of the great things about going to a writers conference is the networking we do in the halls and bathroom lines. We talk about our works, find people who have similar interests, exchange contact information. In short, everything everyone else does, particularly when they share a passion for something.

For us, it is the passion for the written word. This year, the conference had several 101 sessions: setting, character. Even though I have been writing seriously for more than a decade (all right, two decades), I learn something every time I go to a session.

Pacing: sometimes the strength of pacing is what you don't write. It's letting readers fill in the blanks and become an active part of the experience. Avoid all versions of "to be" -- unless you are Shakespeare. News flash: it's been done. Use strong verbs. Build strong imagery. Avoid unnecessarily redundant words -- like this sentence.

Character: write down everything you know about your character, even things you will NEVER use. Get to know the major and minor characters as if they are part of your family. You will be able to add verisimilitude by knowing your characters inside and out.

Setting: setting is what you use to create atmosphere, which is the feeling you get from the setting. This does NOT mean hundreds of words of description. No room in today's readers' minds for the Henry James type of descriptive pages. Set down the basics, temporal, physical and situational details. Avoid the National Geographic introduction of setting. And, the agents and writers coached, avoid vague adjectives like "beautiful." Doesn't convey squat to the reader.

How do you build character?

The Wisdom of Confucius

Which piece of wisdom, you ask. "Be careful what you ask for. You may get it."

I have completed a whydunit called UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES. At least three times.

Two years ago, I thought I was done. I had written the best book I could and was ready for input. I gave copies to 10 friends, many of whom are published writers. And I gave 5 copies to one of my critique groups. I asked for honest feedback. And I got it.

Of course, I reacted as any calm, rational person would. I got pissed off!

Then, I sat back, thought about what I had requested, and read all of the comments without emotion. 15 people had 20 opinions. I sorted through the ones that worked for me and began a year-long rewrite. I also read about writing, contributed to two critique groups, and paid very careful attention to every piece of fiction I read.

Then I let the book sit for a couple of months while I wrote down the bones of a second book.

Finally I was ready to have my work reviewed again. Once more, more opinions, more suggestions, and more people trying to transform my style into theirs. I took all advice and considered every comment.

And then rewrote sections. At last, I was done. Until one person in a critique group asked to read the first 50 pages. To be polite, I agreed. Stupid me!

I got back 50 pages of totally marked up content. Many of the comments don't work. Some do. I never expected this particular group member to have much to offer. Turns out, she does.

I'm considering a few of the comments that will not result in a complete rewrite. I plan to finish the current set of tweaks this month, begin the query process next month and see what happens.

Another Confucian bit of wisdom sits on my desk: "Know where you are going. You are likely to get there." It's right between my Japanese sign for tranquility and a stuffed anteater.

Sigh! Off to do some more editing.

Ethical Dilemma

I belong to two writers' groups. I often ask my peers to read my efforts, or listen when we meet and read aloud. I listen to my peers' efforts as well. It's an honor to share and be asked to review material.

Recently, one member asked me to read the first section of a novel he's been working on, like, forever. I agreed. I have now reread his material twice. It has some errors -- grammatical, word usage, sentence style, typos. I struggled with the dilemma: Do I correct everything or let the writer's unique voice come through? Do I just fix the obvious typos and incorrect word choce?

The voice is not semi-literate. It's just very different.

Any suggestions?